How Boring is Discipline?

Last evening post dinner I went for a walk where I met my neighbour,

He: How about coffee?

Me: Thank you but I don’t drink coffee or tea at night

He: Come over for a glass of wine than

Me: Thank you again, but it’s already my bed time. I will head home now

He: Mahima, you are very boring and already an old woman

Me: Really, how? You are clearly a decade older than me

He: You live such a boring and disciplined life

I just smiled and wished him good night and walked back home.

Why I am sharing this with you is because end result of being disciplined can be very satisfying.

Being disciplined is not being boring, it’s definitely not being old.

It is, never to be sorry about anything. It is, never to have regrets about anything.

It’s a way of thanking yourself for being kind to your own self.

It’s a way loving yourself a little more because you prevented regrets and stress due to your disciplined life.

If you miss your exercise because you woke up late and this is because you slept late and that is because you had an extra cup of coffee or a glass of wine, you will be grumpy the entire day. I am talking about people who are used to certain kind of workout in the morning.

If you eat pizza instead of your regular healthy meal, you will be sorry the entire day because you know you killed your three days of exercise.

If you partied late, and couldn’t make up to the early morning meeting in office. Your boss would be angry and you will have to bear the brunt of that for some time.

If you skip your dentist appointment because you want to finish another episode of ‘Games of Throne’, it will stick in your mind till you meet him next leading to unconscious anxiety.

If you slept in 15 minutes extra, while you had a flight to catch, you will be thinking about missing your flight all through out your road journey, giving yourself completely avoidable and unnecessary stress.

There can be umpteen of these situations where you did something else while you planned something else and then you regretted it later. The end result is unhappy you.

Now, when you are disciplined and act as per the plans, the ending is usually very happy and satisfying. There are no regrets, you get time for everything and you are at peace with yourself because you are not running against situations or time most of the time.

Having said that, there are always aberrations where you want to let go off and want to chill in the moment and that’s also ok, what is life without little aberration and fun but don’t forget to get back to your routine the next day.  I think, that’s why the weekends are made!

Value Your Daughter to Avoid Rape

Every time  rape happens, first question is about the woman’s character. Does a loose character woman (Whatever that is supposed to mean) have no rights??? Have no self-respect?? Have lost all the rights to her body ?? Have no dignity ?? Have lost all the say in the matters regarding herself??

What defines a woman’s character??

Is it the clothes she wears???

Is it her friends, she hangs around with??

Is it her profession, which at times may require her to spend crazy hours at office?

Is it her idea of having fun??? She might want to dance and drink at times??

Is it her free spirit?? She likes interacting with new people, she is an extrovert?

Is it her determination to put her career first??

Is it her strong determination to find her identity in the world?

What defines it?? And who defines it??

A woman can be any of character, but she still has a say, nobody can accost her without her will.

Bad character, loose character are definitions designed by patriarchal society to keep woman in control, in limitations. It is the way of dominating.

Rape is beyond physical exploitation, it’s a way of asserting power, superiority. It is way of telling woman that they are lesser being and can be controlled, manipulated, exploited physically and mentally. And this will continue to happen till the time society changes its attitude towards girls.

When girls are seen at par with boys, things will start changing.

When girl’s education is given equal importance, things will start changing.

When girls are trained mentally and physically to take care of themselves, things will start changing.

When girls are seen as financial strength rather than burden on the family, things will start changing.

When girls stand up for their rights, things will start changing.

When girls starts supporting their family, things will start changing.

The problem lies with every single family in our country. It has to be addressed at very micro level. Attitude towards girls need to change. They have to be accepted in the society for what they are and have to be given respect. It’s not something which can be handled by government alone, laws can be made to punish the culprit but that’s only after much damage would have happened to somebody.

The government can punish the culprit but it’s the people who are creating them. And it’s happening in most of the families, knowingly or unknowingly.

Change will come, when people change. You and I change, and force people around us to change! 

Brave and Beautiful

Standing at 5.5’’ she was a vision in pale yellow kurta salwar, it’s one of my earliest memories of Doon. There are very few people in the world whose beauty and charm can have lasting impression on you, she was one of them. She was kind, subtle, graceful and beautiful. There was sense of calm to her which you can only have, when you are truly comfortable being you. If anybody can do justice to all the coconut / almond oil commercials, it was her. She had long, dense, lustrous, jet black hair right down to her waist. And when she walked, they bounced with happiness. There was permanent smile on her face, which moved effortlessly to her eyes. She was a vision to eyes and soul!

It was the time, we used to live in different states. Little did I know then, that in the future we will share the same house. She moved to Delhi and we moved in together. We spent more then a decade in the same house and she remianed as beautiful and graceful as she was ever.

 

Much time has passed since then, life has moved to a different dimension. What define beauty is, it’s ability to stand the test of time. What define a person is, his/her ability to stand the test of life. She was always beautiful but today she is an epitome of beauty and strength as she looses her long, lustrous, jet black hair to radiation fighting brain tumour with a smile on her face, which still reaches her eyes.

We all know she is beauty made of steel and will come out of it stronger and better then ever.

Kamna. Beauty and grace with resolve of steel, which no destiny can beat!

 

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