I open my eyes for a brief second, shut them. Moments latter, i open again, ask for water and slide into unconsciousness. Some time later, i regain consciousness and again ask for water, i hear some voice asking permission to give me water, i hear a different voice responding, i can’t make sense of it, i am gone again. I open my eyes, somebody is giving me water drop by drop, i am parched, why are they not giving me water, after few drops, i am unconscious again. When i regain some of my senses I realise i am resting on my grand mother’s lap, she is sobbing, before I can figure out what’s happening, i pass out again. I don’t know how much time has gone by, i have no sense of time or place, finally i regain my full senses and see my mother, uncle and nani, they are all looking very worried. Wonder why? anyway i let it pass and enquire about my new dress, it’s white in colour and have floral prints, layered with frills. It’s new and i really fancy it, it makes me look pretty just like a doll, i pass out before i hear the reply.
I wake up at home, surrounded by flowers, i don’t feel anything, i can’t recollect what happened. Then i try getting up from bed and i feel heavy, my right hand is stiff, there is no pain but its feeling strange. My hand is plastered from shoulder to elbow down, my wrist is free. I sit down on my bed and recollect the accident, i was crossing the road with a very dear friend to buy candies and chocolates from the shop across the road, after that its all blank. There are no other more memories from the morning.
Later that day, my mother told me that i had met with a car accident while crossing the road and fainted on the spot. There was not a single cut or bruise on my body but i was unconscious for 8 long hours. I was rushed to the hospital immediately by the lady doctor who had hit me on the road, i never blamed her, it could have been my mistake i was just a child trying to be independent. In the hospital they realised my right hand bone was broken, not fractured but broken into two pieces. The good news was my elbow was intact, the bone had broken just above the elbow and it could be fixed, they did their level best and plastered my hand. Another good news, i don’t have to go school for few weeks, may be a month, not every accident have a bad ending.
After couple of weeks, we go for check up, x -ray reveals that the bone they were trying to join has joined instead of next to each other, over each other, so now they are overlapping. What does that mean for me? My hand will be slightly twisted because of doctor’s negligence or lack of expertise.
My parents get very worried and takes me to a different doctor, he suggests to break the bone again and put it back in the right place. So my innocent worried parents agree, after all my entire life is at stake. Dear doctor breaks the bone and do what he was meant to do and plaster it, its different this time, its covering half of my hand. But i am in for a shocker, i have to sleep in sitting position as the hand needs to be in certain position all the time. I endure it for a month. Time for the x- ray come again, and what does it reveal? My bones are still not the way they are meant to be, they are still overlapping.
My mother got really worried, all kind of questions were popping in her head, will i ever be able to use my right hand properly, will it ever regain it’s strength, will i be able to play normally, will it always remain deformed, twisted. And most important and crucial of all, will it be a hindrance in getting me married??? since my look is twisted now, I was all of 8 or 9 years old then but marriage was definitely something to be worried about.
My uncle equally worried, consults a hospital in Lucknow, like luck would have it a specialist from America is visiting, so he is consulted. The mush renowned doctor suggests a surgery, like the previous doctor he wants to break the bone again and put it back in its right place. All this while i was happily unaware of what was happening, joining, breaking and joining and now again breaking and hoping it will join back like it is meant to be.
We take the Shatabdi to Lucknow. The operation is successfully performed. As the bravery award i get a Barbie doll. I have to tell you it was in vogue, very expensive and a rage amongst kids during those times. So i thought the bargain was not bad. In return of breaking my bone for the third time, i get a Barbie, it was a crack of a deal.
We returned to Delhi, i was happy in my world, no school for 4 months, i was staying at my nani’s place so i would be well taken care of as mother was working mom. Since i was a child with imagination, all kind of thoughts would creep in my head, what if ants get stuck in the plaster, what if maggots or any other creepier insect is making home in the comfort of plaster and my hand, my imagination would run wild making impossible come to life in my head. Besides that, I had nothing to complain about but my parents was in for a surprise. After my third and final surgery, the plaster was removed and voila, my hand was still twisted.
After that they made peace with it. They took it as god’s doing which can’t be undone.
My struggle started after the plaster came out, i realised my right hand did not have the strength it use to have. I couldn’t lift the objects using my right hand, i couldn’t even twist it in certain directions, it used to even hurt specially in winters.
There was nothing i could do to fix it, enough was done already it and it was still not fixed. As humans, we don’t realise how much strength we have internally, our brain is solving problems even when we are not consciously seeking a solution. I started using my left hand more to support my right hand, in the process my left hand grew very strong and with time my right hand gained strength too. Usually, your left hand is weaker then right because we use it less and since i was using it more than my right hand it grew strong.
Your body works in coordination, trying to strengthen and support each part, somewhat like a good healthy relationship, when one person goes weak the other person steps in to help, to over come the shortcoming and weakness.
Till date my right hand is twisted but I am stronger than most of the people I know as i balance using both the halves of my body while most of the people use their right side more. What was meant to be my weakness, became my strength!
What happened to my white dress??? the one with the frills and flowers. Doctor had to tear it to plaster my hand. Nobody told me that in the hospital.